Friday, December 2, 2011

2006 euro race 7


greetings to you all...


I shall attempt to talk about things other than cars.....
I shall consult my little 'Moleskine' notebook to remind me of all the sights,sounds & some of the nutters I've met....go & make a cuppa while you wait....bear with me-don't go away.
Well, s'pose I should start with some nutters, just so as to hold your attention, then I'll get into the rolling countryside, quaint villages etc, etc..
The first one that springs to mind is a young guy about 17. He works for Tim our engine builder - that's another story in itself.....Actually they're both a couple of interesting characters.
They work in an industrial estate on an old airfield. All the old barracks are now sheds & Tim builds V8 racing engines in one of them. This is no clinically clean slickly run, hi-tech affair, oh no....it is a filthy shithole for want of a better descriptive term! Tim wears steel cap clogs ( Yeah, I never knew you could get them either ) everyday & spends 15 to 20 hours at work at the moment...daily! He does about 3 hours work in that time & the rest he is rolling cigarettes, talking on the phone or arguing with Aaron his employee. Aaron has undiagnosed tourettes & whenever Tim asks him to do something the standard reply is " Fook aawwwfffFFFF! ". This is exchanged a few times with Aaron having the last say, again falling back onto an old favourite " aahm gunna kill ya!" I spent 11 hours there on saturday & another 6 on monday building an engine we were urgent for. I now have lung cancer & many other cigarrette related diseases -but it's ok, I'll probably die from whatever it was I drank in my cup of tea.....lets just say I only had half a cup, I glanced a wee look inside it & it may or may not pan out to be beneficial to my physical & mental health ....I haven't noticed any side effects yet.... Tim is fairly easy to describe - PLEASE don't think I'm exadurating here, this is fact ! Tim Adams, engine builder, is a DEAD RINGER for Homer Simpson ! And when his kidneys pack up ( give him 6 to 12 months ) I'm sure he'll aquire a nice yellow hue. Aaron is a CHAV. That is- Council House And Vandalism - named after where he lives & what he does....apparently common in these parts. Oh, & I have to mention I have NEVER seen so much urine & staining in a toilet ! I think if you got caught in a portaloo that rolled down a hill you'd come out cleaner than Tim & Aarons loo....
Then there are our truck drivers, " The Desert Gerbil " ex SAS guy that calls for triage after paper cuts-he looks alot like Radar off M*A*S*H . " The Muscles from Brussels " An absolute tanned hairless hunk of manhood that looks like he is ex SAS.
There's Mrs Miggins from the local shop......well it is the front room of her house, she sells little emergency items you may need. Her shelves are stocked with...I'll just remember her inventory...1 pack disprin, 1 tube toothpaste, 1 flyswat, 1 pack bin liners....yeah that was about it, then all the bags of chips known to man, plus sweets, newspapers, milk, magazines. She also has a post office, she needs to leave the counter in her front room, walk round into another room - or possibly hallway, peer through the hole in the wall whilst squinting through her double coke bottom bottle glasses, offer to be of assistance, whereupon, in a blinding flash- she becomes postmistress- TA DA ! But all post office moneys are kept seperate...in the post office till NOT the general store till.....
My drives to & from work, or our suppliers are through some very picturesque country lanes. There isn't much in the way of livestock, I haven't seen a single sheep & it is a nice change from the plague of Dairy farms in NZ to see rolling fields of wheat. Catching glimpses of its velvety green-ness through gaps in the hedgerows. The wheat is just on the turn now so some fields are lush green, while others are fading, with yellow coming through as if washed by a watercolourists brush.
The weather has been hovering around 30 degs C with quite frequent thunder & lightening storms, & some fantastic, almost tropical downpours.
I went to the MOTO GP at Donnington last weekend & apart from Rossi riding to a brilliant 2nd with a broken ankle & wrist 3 things stick in my mind.
1/Rossi riding right beside me after I ran onto the circuit when the race finished......the flag marshal looked at me & said " I can't stop you...the race is over" I said " stop me what ? " & then it clicked, I launched over the armco & was generally starstruck...I could see right into his helmet...I have a great photo, REALLY close up & REALLY blurry!
2/Biker chicks withstretchmarks shouldn't wear crop tops.
3/ As jets come into land at west midlands airport they jetison fuel. I am told this explains the extra tenderness of my lips. They felt like they'd lost a layer of skin and I'd just eaten a car boot full of salt & vinegar chips.....
I leave for Belgium & SPA racetrack next wednesday, another trip in our Mercedes van that has a severe music drought.....one of the cd's is Ozzy Osbourne....wait it gets worse.....the album is all covers, with special guests. Miss Piggy was a highlight. Will sort some remedy out on sunday when I go to Manchester to look for real coffee....haven't had one since Italy....
.............so if the jet fuel doesn't fookin' kill me, Tim's smoking hasn't got me, Aarons tea can only have made me stronger...by the time I have an espresso I'll be bullet proof !
Regards & love when & where required...
Tim.


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